I hate this...

I am trying to get back on track with this diet. I hate it however. But I hate the way I look and feel too. I am not sure if I am going to be able to finish it. I have a ton of kids this summer, which I love, but on top of that I love kid food. I wand mac and cheese and pizza. But I when I look in the mirror at the end of the day, I don'y like anything I see, at all, I know I can do better, but I keep letting myself down. I guess we will see what happens. I will try, I guess that is all I can do, or else get rid of my mirrors.

My first follow up appointment...

I had my first my follow up appointment with the nutritionist and I had good results I think, down 11 (14 pounds as of today) and 8 1/2 inches of my body. 2 and 1/2 alone was from my ribcage with the majority of the inches coming off of my whole abdominal area. I am pleased with the results. I am almost half way done, and if I continue to lose 1 pound or so today, it will all be worth it!

Here is to being back on track....

I had a rough weekend with this because we took an unexpected trip to Denver, and I know I could have done better but I let myself go and ate horrible food. I am back on track however. I just have to keep telling myself, nothing tastes as good as thin will feel. I have my first follow up appointment with the nutritionist today, and I think that will help me realize the importance of eating only what I am supposed to. I only have 25 days left, and I am determined to lose 1 pound a day for the duration. It's hard but I can do this. I guess it is time to bust out the yam noodles and make those my meals. But here goes nothing. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

Today is better.

Today I have changed my attitude and it seems to be a better day. No more pity parties, at least that is what I am trying for. I had an apple for breakfast, but that is all I have eaten today. I am just not hungry. Which is a good thing. Plus I went rollerblading this morning and that helps me always feel better. I think all the projects I am trying to get done around the house are keeping me busy and I am keeping my focus on other things. At least I am not doing it alone anymore. As of tomorrow, the bestie gets to go down this road with me, and she is a creative cook so she will be able to help me out. Also I have to say that I have the best support system ever. My friends and my family and especially Clint, who doesn't let me give up everyday, are the best! I know I would have quit on day 2 if it wasn't for all of them!

I am kinda pissy today...

I am kinda pissy today and don't want to do this anymore. I want to eat what I want. Maybe I should just throw up... just kidding. I am sticking with it, but when everything, everyone does revolves around either eating or drinking, it gets hard and i get discouraged. I have lost 9 pounds since i started the injections and I guess that is good, except I don't notice any difference in my appearance and I can't tell where it is coming off from. Probably my boobs, that would be just my luck. I have been eating low fat ranch instead of the Walden farms stuff because it is MUCH better, but probably going to slow down the weight loss a little. I did cheat on Mother's Day also, but I kept it minimal and still lost 1.6 pounds, so I guess it didn't hurt me too badly. But, here I am persevering through it. I made banana bread last night, BIG MISTAKE, although I have yet to eat it, the temptation is driving me nuts. On top of that I can't go roller blade today because the weather sucks. Anyways, that is my bad attitude blog for now. I will try and perk up for the next one.

Well, well, well.

I guess I'm not gonna starve to death so far but I am so tempted! I want some chocolate or so other good stuff. I tired to eat the vegetables for lunch but the ranch from walden farms is disguising, so I couldn't eat my salad so I had some ground turkey and that curbed my appetite for the moment. Just got to keep reminding myself that the end result is going to be great. Nothing tastes as good as feeling thin, at least that's what I keep telling myself. So I get to eat an other snack here in a few, might make a strawberry marshmallow shake, its a free food, so I might be having lots of those. Might try to induler in some yam noodles too. We will see how those things go down! I will let you know how the hunger subsides this evening.

Dat 3, doom day.....

Well today is the last day to eat normal, then I move to starvation. Ha ha ha. I need to look at it more positively, but it is going to be a challenge. But just think of all the pounds that will be melting off. And if anyone has reservations about doing this diet because of the shots, that is probably the easiest part. I am going to get some dressings and stuff from my weight loss place that way I don't have to give up all flavor. They are from Walden Farms. I will give a review of them after I actually try them. Here goes nothing! Wish me luck... Maybe I will have to have a glass fo wine tonight as a farewel to life as I knew it!!!!!

Day 2

I'm feeling good today. Haven't started the restricted diet yet, I have a 3 day "loading" period. Which means I bimge the first 3 days to store up some energy. It is harder than it sounds, because although I am a lover of foods, this diet can. Go either way. If you eat too much after the first 3 days you will gain. So the fear of gaining weight has me a little skeptical of eating too much. But that's what the professionals say and I am going to assume this isn't their first rodeo and do as they say the best I can. On a side note, I can eat yam noodles which are a free food, but if you ever wonder wbhat yam noodles are, just take a trip on down to your local oriental market and get some. I'm a texture person so. I'm not so sure how hungry I will have to be to eat them. We will probably find out. They look like worms or brains and are in a bag of fluid. Its kinda gnarly. But on a positive note, the shot is still painless!

WOOO HOOOO!

So I did it! First shot is done and over with. And to be perfectly honest, I didn't even really feel it. The needle is so small that you can't even feel it go in. And the HCG is not painful at all. I expected to feel a sting or something, and I had nothing to complain about. I am so excited. I can't wait to start seeing the results! I now eat normal for the next three days, then I will start the restricted diet on Friday! Yay! I will write more when I have more to share.

24 Hours and counting

Okay, so I am getting a little nervous about this shot in the stomach thing. In case your wondering, it's just in the tissue, not actually in the stomach. I thought my dad was going to come unglued when I told him shots in the stomach, because he thought I meant this huge long needle that actaully went into the stomach organ. It was kind of comical. But after I cleared that up and told him that I was doing this under close supervision of a doctor, nurse and nutritionist, he felt a wave of relief overcome him! But, anyways, that was a little off track. See, my best friend has really no fear, so she said she would give me the shot and I could do hers, but how practical is that, she works a completely different schedule than me and, let's face it, she won't be able to do it everytime. So after I realize she won't be there every waking second, which would be nice, I asked my boyfriend of 5 years to do it. I should have known better. That was NOT going to happen. He saw me cut open from hip to hip for a c-section and can't poke me with a little needle? Men, I swear. So after exhausting all my options for people to poke me, I have accepted the fact that I am on my own for this part. I guess, when you look at the big picture, it's only 40 days and possibly 40 pounds! I've endured worse and I think I can do this. Well, wish me luck. I will update after the first shot tomorrow.

The countdown to starting!

Well, where do I begin? I am starting the HCG diet on Tuesday and I really haven't seen a real person's perspective on how hard it can be or the emotions you may go through, so I decided to share my real life experience with everyone out there. lucky for me, I have a great support system, and to top it off, my best friend is going to do it too! If you are unfamiliar with this diet, basically I will give myself HCG injections everyday for 40 days, and the expected weight loss is supposed to be 1/2 - 1 pound a day. I am 5'9" and 197 pounds. I have dieted before, I did Atkins with great success but I am trying to find something that can help me change my eating habits for the better. I LOVE food. I live to eat, I don't eat to live. That is one of my goals. I want to learn to eat better and control what and how much I eat. I lost about 30 pounds right before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, when I was pregnant I gained about 65 pounds! After I had her I have lost about 30 pounds, but I just don't watch what I eat. And I don't exerise. I really believe I can do this. My biggest struggle, because it is a restricted diet, 500 calories a day, it will be hard not to snack on whatever my boyfriend and daughter are eating, but I am determined. And summer is almost here, so I want to at least be able to wear a swimsuit! This will not just be a quick fix, I understand that I have to make a lot of lifestyle changes, but I think that it is a great jumpstart to where I want to be. My ultimate weight loss goal is 50 pounds. I think I will have to follow up with at least another 20 days worth to reach my goal. So here is my journey, I hope you enjoy reading about the ride I am about to partake!!